NewStats: 3,264,404 , 8,183,619 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 at 10:34 PM 183p

MsJackson:
Hello house. He is finally divorcing me and remarrying another. Please read my story on my profile. I'm weak. I just want to know my rights. We have a child together. Lawyers in the house, please advise. Thank you.

That's is a problem with most men in Nigeria and some part of the world immediately a woman gives birth for them they hardly give her importance and crave for another one, even the child is nothing to them they don't value the word "children". Some families are very useless that they everything their own does, I have seen a sister taking her brothers wife for abortion because they're just getting married and he's building a house, so the pregnancy would hinder him, he told her and she took his wife for abortion.
Your mother in law is just trying to protect her daughters marriage, mother in law love their son in law than their daughter in law no cap 🤨, they're obviously trying to handle it down you made a mistake by not taking action on her, anything that wanted to happen should happen. You gave them the chance you 👊👊👊🤏... 10 years obviously they should have been a lot of understanding except there's something you aren't telling us because you didn't mention your family in all these.
Now

1. If he's going to divorce you do so first if you have the chance involve welfare for your daughters sake so he will still be handling even if it's part time fees, stabilize yourself I don't know your age but it's not the end of the world dear, don't worry for your girl you can do great, women who are faithful always find it hard moving on especially the man was everything to them, sister don't think about him I know you just wish it was a dream but it's not, just try to get help from your church anywhere, work, work and trust God keep your little girl safe trust me when I say she's trying to comprehend everything not all families allow room for daughter in laws , if he's divorcing you this new person is their choice obviously.
2. Get everything about him out of your mind and focus on just how to build your life . Since it's obvious there's no room for you after you have begged and begged it's just that you also need to accept where you also did bad and try to change as well.

MsJackson:
you're right. Sure will do that. He's always posting insulting quotes about me on his WhatsApp status for the world to see and ridicule me. I've blocked him sha.

Good until you heal his WhatsApp doesn't matter my cousin sister husband placed his WhatsApp in 24 hours disappearing messages and she can't stop it. The only thing that would make you him is your daughter when you heal of he wishes to talk to her let him. Time heals everyone okay what matters is what you did with the time.

Bobodee09:
My advice to you is stop seeking validation here.
Most people here are still teens with zero knowledge about marriage.

There is no were marriage was promised to be peaceful and without challenges.
The did Is done....... moving on won't be easy at all trust me.

Prepare yourself for
Lonely night, tears, struggle, regrets,depression etc

No matter the method they tell you to use......you will surely experience all this.

Since there is a child between you both try avoid using her to get at him.
When it remains only you in the room, just ask God for strength to navigate this next phase of your life.

I know you must learn some lessons and seen your own mistakes.....use them to make yourself better.

thanks for the advice

Charmingrascal:
If it's only a child you have then you should be happy to leave that bondage of a marriage.
Your story is pathetic, I pray you find help.
Have you gotten a job yet?

yes I got a teaching job, the pay isn't much but it's something at least. I would love to get a better job

Jozilinn:
That's is a problem with most men in Nigeria and some part of the world immediately a woman gives birth for them they hardly give her importance and crave for another one, even the child is nothing to them they don't value the word "children". Some families are very useless that they everything their own does, I have seen a sister taking her brothers wife for abortion because they're just getting married and he's building a house, so the pregnancy would hinder him, he told her and she took his wife for abortion.
Your mother in law is just trying to protect her daughters marriage, mother in law love their son in law than their daughter in law no cap 🤨, they're obviously trying to handle it down you made a mistake by not taking action on her, anything that wanted to happen should happen. You gave them the chance you 👊👊👊🤏... 10 years obviously they should have been a lot of understanding except there's something you aren't telling us because you didn't mention your family in all these.
Now

1. If he's going to divorce you do so first if you have the chance involve welfare for your daughters sake so he will still be handling even if it's part time fees, stabilize yourself I don't know your age but it's not the end of the world dear, don't worry for your girl you can do great, women who are faithful always find it hard moving on especially the man was everything to them, sister don't think about him I know you just wish it was a dream but it's not, just try to get help from your church anywhere, work, work and trust God keep your little girl safe trust me when I say she's trying to comprehend everything not all families allow room for daughter in laws , if he's divorcing you this new person is their choice obviously.
2. Get everything about him out of your mind and focus on just how to build your life . Since it's obvious there's no room for you after you have begged and begged it's just that you also need to accept where you also did bad and try to change as well.

thanks I appreciate your words, they're uplifting

Jozilinn:
when you marry cage yours typical African man mentality if you aren't okay with her being that way no marry am. Some people don't know how to discuss things with people hence they share online at least it's anonymous sometimes.

Easy tiger! Did I strike a nerve?

OP

Right now, you need to get a pretty good job. Ensure your accommodation is very good too (if you need to move in with your parents, stay there). If you have your family's , do so.

Accept any amount he sends for upkeep without a murmur, document all your conversation with him (no calls, just texts or emails).

Make sure you never bouth him to his kid. The few, infrequent times he will attempt to play at Daddy and visit his kid, ensure you allow her meet her father without complaints to him. Show him a calm demeanor and a beautiful exterior. Document every visit.

You have 2 years from Separation to Divorce. That's the Law. You can't file until then, neither can he. Go to a lawyer for more information.

Most courts will NOT award custody of a girl child to a single father, they will favour the mother. Unless he remarries and then you have to prove that your home is a safe place and you're more than capable of caring for your child.

Get a cheap phone, give him the no and politely tell them that should he ever wish to speak to his daughter, he can either call you or use that line. (He won't call it more than once).

Take your eyes completely off him. Your mind will be harder. Try and go for counselling, to heal and to reflect upon your own mistakes. So you don't repeat them again.

I wish you the best.

Now, let me face that oloriburuku you married.

He's an as.shole, he and his family knew what they were doing. They are willing to destroy your marriage because he never valued you and they want to protect their se.xually abusive niece. That girl he's dating, oh boy she's in trouble. Her chi isn't working, if it was she would never have fallen inside calamity. He's not going to marry her, she's the first of numerous girlfriends. If he marries her, then she doesn't have a praying mother. You will see him looking happier than you've ever see him flaunting his new gf/wife, his family full of praise for her, loving her like they never loved you.

Cry into your pillow, show a stoic face, dress well, smell delicious and give them no quarter. Go out and date.

In about 3-5 years' time, that rat bas.tard will start sniffing around you again under the pretext of checking on his child. YOU MUST NEVER TAKE HIM BACK. If you do, Amadioha will laugh and know he can destroy you. You serve a Living God, He removed them from your life neatly.

They'll notice that the stability you gave him in his life is not there (married or not). Even if he looks happy, he's not really happy. So he's acting for the world to see, so that nobody says "I told you so".

Second marriages tend to be worse because the useless party involved in the first marriage rarely ever learns from their mistakes, so they repeat it. Only that the "Peerless Queen" 2nd wife is usually ready to deal shege with him and his family. So trust me, his family will grumble that "this one is not even as tolerant as the one we pursued out".

He'll repent and regret in leisure. No, he'll never it it (his ego is too big). He will want you back (no, he still won't have learnt his lessons). Which is why he will suddenly become a "Good Father", checking on his kid frequently. No dear, he's keeping tabs on you and also trying to audition for you, that he's a great guy and your issues before were just "silly little misunderstandings".

You will probably never get an apology. Don't wait for one. He will definitely express regret, but never to you. Only a very brave and strong man will look you in the eye and it his fukup.

Which is why you should move on with a vengeance. The best revenge is a Life well lived.

I'm saying all of this because this sort of story is as common as pure water. And it always plays out like this, rarely does it deviate. The only deviation is that sometimes, the wife take the husband back.

The Bible is the book of Life because if you read the Old Testament, you'll see humanity's innate desire to constantly self-destruct from time to time (think the Israelites or the prodigal son). We can't help it, we can only ask God to give us the strength to overcome the need to use our own hands to destroy our lives. I've self-destructed, everyone has (made mistakes that derailed us for such a long time, we hold regrets forever). You have self-destructed, now this is your ex-husband's time to self-destruct.

But you shouldn't. Because he was willing to side with his family against his own child.

I wish you the best.

I swear, Humanity is such a foolish race than God must shake His head in disbelief at our foolishness.

The way we needlessly destroy our lives is amazing. We spend our old age full of regrets because Time has shown us our foolishness.

Which is why I would never allow my sons to ever complain about their wives to me. If it is not proven Domestic Violence, I don't wanna hear shi.t. Go and tell her mother. Your wife can come and complain about you to me, too.

Because the worst thing a parent can do is validate or influence their son to hurt their grandchildren.

There's no amount of prayer and forgiveness that will stop God's wrath on falling on you when you do so. You must face the consequences.

That's why Prosperity Gospel is so annoying, we need to be preaching the Old Testament so you'll see how God kept dealing with people who mess up. You reap what you sow. God is a God of Righteousness and Justice, nobody gets away with anything no matter how it looks from the outside.

I've got far too many male relatives spending their 60s/70s in regret to allow myself come between my son and his wife. Even the ones that remarried will tell you that if they had emotional maturity, they'd never have divorced.

There's a reason God hates divorce in the Bible, go and read up Malachi 2: 13-17. There's a reason God literally told men "I hate divorce, don't leave the wife of your youth". How incredible it is that our Heavenly Father addressed His remarks on Divorce TO MEN! Even Jesus said "your hearts are hardened but whomever divorces his wife and remarries commits Adultery", HE WAS TALKING TO MEN!!

Wives are supposed to keep their homes, but Husbands are supposed to keep their marriages. Because you can't be the Dangote in your marriage and expect the Chinese engineers to secure the NNPC deal or let the Nigerian staff find crude oil to refine, that's your job, you're the Head of the House, the buck stops on your table. Everyone's (your wife and kids) job is to follow your leadership, Dangote.

Nigerian men are so effed up because they keep breaking this covenant with God and thinking it will work out well, ogbeni...
IT NEVER DOES! YOU'LL BE 65 WITH SILENT REGRETS, TRUST ME!!

They need to take the mic from these banger boys podcasters, red pillers and Pastors and give it to 70 year old men. Because when you're done seeing their lives, you'll be terrified as a man and delete all your side chics and spend your days researching how to love your wife and bring the spark back into your marriage.

Do you know what it is to be 70 and making yourself uncomfortable following your wife to omugwo, because you know you messed up all your marriage and are scared she'll leave? Do you know what it is to have adult kids who don't talk to you, your wife has spent years of resentment and is now living her life separately so you're always indoors or walking alone on the street, lonely? Do you know how common and silent male depression is? Do you know how many men have died on top of their side chics, their last moments in fright, not surrounded by love and grief from people who care, because the side chics always panic and protect themselves, they'll be screaming upandan inside of cradling your head, showing you love and sorrow as you leave this life.

Why are your Pastors not preaching this??


/rant over

Onegai:
OP

Right now, you need to get a pretty good job. Ensure your accommodation is very good too (if you need to move in with your parents, stay there). If you have your family's , do so.

Accept any amount he sends for upkeep without a murmur, document all your conversation with him (no calls, just texts or emails).

Make sure you never bouth him to his kid. The few, infrequent times he will attempt to play at Daddy and visit his kid, ensure you allow her meet her father without complaints to him. Show him a calm demeanor and a beautiful exterior. Document every visit.

You have 2 years from Separation to Divorce. That's the Law. You can't file until then, neither can he. Go to a lawyer for more information.

Most courts will NOT award custody of a girl child to a single father, they will favour the mother. Unless he remarries and then you have to prove that your home is a safe place and you're more than capable of caring for your child.

Get a cheap phone, give him the no and politely tell them that should he ever wish to speak to his daughter, he can either call you or use that line. (He won't call it more than once).

Take your eyes completely off him. Your mind will be harder. Try and go for counselling, to heal and to reflect upon your own mistakes. So you don't repeat them again.

I wish you the best.

Now, let me face that oloriburuku you married.

He's an as.shole, he and his family knew what they were doing. They are willing to destroy your marriage because he never valued you and they want to protect their se.xually abusive niece. That girl he's dating, oh boy she's in trouble. Her chi isn't working, if it was she would never have fallen inside calamity. He's not going to marry her, she's the first of numerous girlfriends. If he marries her, then she doesn't have a praying mother. You will see him looking happier than you've ever see him flaunting his new gf/wife, his family full of praise for her, loving her like they never loved you.

Cry into your pillow, show a stoic face, dress well, smell delicious and give them no quarter. Go out and date.

In about 3-5 years' time, that rat bas.tard will start sniffing around you again under the pretext of checking on his child. YOU MUST NEVER TAKE HIM BACK. If you do, Amadioha will laugh and know he can destroy you. You serve a Living God, He removed them from your life neatly.

They'll notice that the stability you gave him in his life is not there (married or not). Even if he looks happy, he's not really happy. So he's acting for the world to see, so that nobody says "I told you so".

Second marriages tend to be worse because the useless party involved in the first marriage rarely ever learns from their mistakes, so they repeat it. Only that the "Peerless Queen" 2nd wife is usually ready to deal shege with him and his family. So trust me, his family will grumble that "this one is not even as tolerant as the one we pursued out".

He'll repent and regret in leisure. No, he'll never it it (his ego is too big). He will want you back (no, he still won't have learnt his lessons). Which is why he will suddenly become a "Good Father", checking on his kid frequently. No dear, he's keeping tabs on you and also trying to audition for you, that he's a great guy and your issues before were just "silly little misunderstandings".

You will probably never get an apology. Don't wait for one. He will definitely express regret, but never to you. Only a very brave and strong man will look you in the eye and it his fukup.

Which is why you should move on with a vengeance. The best revenge is a Life well lived.

I'm saying all of this because this sort of story is as common as pure water. And it always plays out like this, rarely does it deviate. The only deviation is that sometimes, the wife take the husband back.

The Bible is the book of Life because if you read the Old Testament, you'll see humanity's innate desire to constantly self-destruct from time to time (think the Israelites or the prodigal son). We can't help it, we can only ask God to give us the strength to overcome the need to use our own hands to destroy our lives. I've self-destructed, everyone has (made mistakes that derailed us for such a long time, we hold regrets forever). You have self-destructed, now this is your ex-husband's time to self-destruct.

But you shouldn't. Because he was willing to side with his family against his own child.

I wish you the best.

JESUS! WHO ARE YOU? An Angel God sent to comfort me this early morning. I woke up to this. How can I thank you for this? The tears i have cried for 8 months since the discard, I have never cried it in all my 40 years of existence. God knows how I begged and begged from one relative to another, from his sisters to his parents and to even his sisters husbands. They are in on this whole plan because they ALL turned their back on me and blocked my numbers on their phones, based on what their son told them. Not one time did they ever call to hear my side of the story, and when I tried ing them, they told me, NOT AVAILABLE. I attended a convention some days back and the whole family were there, including the new girl. She was literally hanging off the arm of my estranged husband. He knew I was coming because the daughter told him before now. The family all sewed the same clothes, plus the girl. You need to see the way they were flaunting her. I went to the toilet and wept my eyes out. Only for me to get home and see on my daughter's phone what he ed on his WhatsApp for our friends to see. He posted that God should save him from a monitoring spirit. And he posted ABOKOKU. If you understand yoruba, you'd know the meaning. Fresh tears. You replaced me already, why still humiliating me in public? The depth of wickedness this man and his family are meting out to me is unfair. I made mistakes, why do I have to die for them? If God acted that way towards we that offend him daily, who will survive? A lot has happened that I won't have time to go into. Just know that whoever you are ONEGAI, my God sent you. My thank you will never be enough.

Onegai:
I swear, Humanity is such a foolish race than God must shake His head in disbelief at our foolishness.

The way we needlessly destroy our lives is amazing. We spend our old age full of regrets because Time has shown us our foolishness.

Which is why I would never allow my sons to ever complain about their wives to me. If it is not proven Domestic Violence, I don't wanna hear shi.t. Go and tell her mother. Your wife can come and complain about you to me, too.

Because the worst thing a parent can do is validate or influence their son to hurt their grandchildren.

There's no amount of prayer and forgiveness that will stop God's wrath on falling on you when you do so. You must face the consequences.

That's why Prosperity Gospel is so annoying, we need to be preaching the Old Testament so you'll see how God kept dealing with people who mess up. You reap what you sow. God is a God of Righteousness and Justice, nobody gets away with anything no matter how it looks from the outside.

I've got far too many male relatives spending their 60s/70s in regret to allow myself come between my son and his wife. Even the ones that remarried will tell you that if they had emotional maturity, they'd never have divorced.

There's a reason God hates divorce in the Bible, go and read up Malachi 2: 13-17. There's a reason God literally told men "I hate divorce, don't leave the wife of your youth". How incredible it is that our Heavenly Father addressed His remarks on Divorce TO MEN! Even Jesus said "your hearts are hardened but whomever divorces his wife and remarries commits Adultery", HE WAS TALKING TO MEN!!

Wives are supposed to keep their homes, but Husbands are supposed to keep their marriages. Because you can't be the Dangote in your marriage and expect the Chinese engineers to secure the NNPC deal or let the Nigerian staff find crude oil to refine, that's your job, you're the Head of the House, the buck stops on your table. Everyone's (your wife and kids) job is to follow your leadership, Dangote.

Nigerian men are so effed up because they keep breaking this covenant with God and thinking it will work out well, ogbeni...
IT NEVER DOES! YOU'LL BE 65 WITH SILENT REGRETS, TRUST ME!!

They need to take the mic from these banger boys podcasters, red pillers and Pastors and give it to 70 year old men. Because when you're done seeing their lives, you'll be terrified as a man and delete all your side chics and spend your days researching how to love your wife and bring the spark back into your marriage.

Do you know what it is to be 70 and making yourself uncomfortable following your wife to omugwo, because you know you messed up all your marriage and are scared she'll leave? Do you know what it is to have adult kids who don't talk to you, your wife has spent years of resentment and is now living her life separately so you're always indoors or walking alone on the street, lonely? Do you know how common and silent male depression is? Do you know how many men have died on top of their side chics, their last moments in fright, not surrounded by love and grief from people who care, because the side chics always panic and protect themselves, they'll be screaming upandan inside of cradling your head, showing you love and sorrow as you leave this life.

Why are your Pastors not preaching this??


/rant over

THANK YOU FROM THE DEEPEST PART OF MY HEART

I really hope you take every advice given to you here because your gender is really complex because I don't know why you are still checking his status after he replaced you. It shows you've not moved on.

This is one of the reasons why men avoid single mothers because of complicated relationships with their exes. With your current state now, even if God sends another man your way and your ex comes crawling back later (because I trust he will), you may still give into your ex.

I read your thread in 2013 and it's really sad that you focused on the superficial qualities - he's funny, cute, humble etc, instead of looking for a man with solid principles that comes from the foundation of the word of God. Godly men don't easily divorce their wives, abandon their daughter and remarry over what you've documented here for the past 10 years.

I'm a guy and but I'm moved by your story truly because I know the pain of a failed marriage by virtue of people close to me.

Please seek a closer relationship with God because only He can comfort you on those lonely night, only in Him can you find the true meaning of life again and move on.

Lastly, forgive your soon to be ex husband and family. I know it's hard right now but do it for yourself so that your healing can start.

Stay strong sis.

MsJackson:
he was the one always reporting me to his family, not me. His brother confirmed it. The brother said if there were no cracks on the wall, lizards won't through.

where's your location?

MsJackson:

JESUS! WHO ARE YOU? An Angel God sent to comfort me this early morning. I woke up to this. How can I thank you for this? The tears i have cried for 8 months since the discard, I have never cried it in all my 40 years of existence. God knows how I begged and begged from one relative to another, from his sisters to his parents and to even his sisters husbands. They are in on this whole plan because they ALL turned their back on me and blocked my numbers on their phones, based on what their son told them. Not one time did they ever call to hear my side of the story, and when I tried ing them, they told me, NOT AVAILABLE. I attended a convention some days back and the whole family were there, including the new girl. She was literally hanging off the arm of my estranged husband. He knew I was coming because the daughter told him before now. The family all sewed the same clothes, plus the girl. You need to see the way they were flaunting her. I went to the toilet and wept my eyes out. Only for me to get home and see on my daughter's phone what he ed on his WhatsApp for our friends to see. He posted that God should save him from a monitoring spirit. And he posted ABOKOKU. If you understand yoruba, you'd know the meaning. Fresh tears. You replaced me already, why still humiliating me in public? The depth of wickedness this man and his family are meting out to me is unfair. I made mistakes, why do I have to die for them? If God acted that way towards we that offend him daily, who will survive? A lot has happened that I won't have time to go into. Just know that whoever you are ONEGAI, my God sent you. My thank you will never be enough.

Mute his WhatsApp status on your daughter's phone. Never keep your eyes on whatever he's doing, how much he's spending, whom he's loving up.

The most important 2 things to do:

1. Speak with your lawyer. You need to be prepared.

2. Go for therapy and counselling. You need to improve yourself, work on your flaws and mistakes. It takes 2 to break a marriage up, so accept that which was your fault and correct it.

Put yourself in the best possible position for Life to be good to you. You're in the 2nd half of your journey of your Life, do better.

Avoid any physical place you will ever see him or his family, for now. Avoid it. Find new places to worship and hang out.

Forgive him and his family. Not because they're good, but for your own sake. Bitterness can kill your spirit, so release any sorrow via forgiveness. It will take time, but you must do so.

If you ever see any of them outside and they speak to you, calmly offer an apology any shortcomings you may have had and tell them you'll always be cordial. That entire apology should be one very short sentence, no begging, no grovelling, not a single word of reconciliation. And you are to make it to only one person, so thar they can go and share it amongst themselves.

You're forgiving them and apologising for your shortcomings because you need to be light and free so that God's blessings can come inside you. God's blessings can't come inside a dark, heavy heart.

Now, move on.

Your success story is ahead but you need to not look back, so you can claim it.

One last thing: go and get a tambourine. Keep it. Because as you heal, get better and grow into your new life and hopefully there's Love in your future (that's why you're doing that therapy, some negro out there has worked on his flaws and is praying for his Sarah), you'll shake that tambourine in praise to the Most High Lord.

All the best.

Marvyx:
I really hope you take every advice given to you here because your gender is really complex because I don't know why you are still checking his status after he replaced you. It shows you've not moved on.

This is one of the reasons why men avoid single mothers because of complicated relationships with their exes. With your current state now, even if God sends another man your way and your ex comes crawling back later (because I trust he will), you may still give into your ex.

I read your thread in 2013 and it's really sad that you focused on the superficial qualities - he's funny, cute, humble etc, instead of looking for a man with solid principles that comes from the foundation of the word of God. Godly men don't easily divorce their wives, abandon their daughter and remarry over what you've documented here for the past 10 years.

I'm a guy and but I'm moved by your story truly because I know the pain of a failed marriage by virtue of people close to me.

Please seek a closer relationship with God because only He can comfort you on those lonely night, only in Him can you find the true meaning of life again and move on.

Lastly, forgive your soon to be ex husband and family. I know it's hard right now but do it for yourself so that your healing can start.

Stay strong sis.

Thank you very much, I'll try to make use of the advice given here

Onegai:


Mute his WhatsApp status on your daughter's phone. Never keep your eyes on whatever he's doing, how much he's spending, whom he's loving up.

The most important 2 things to do:

1. Speak with your lawyer. You need to be prepared.

2. Go for therapy and counselling. You need to improve yourself, work on your flaws and mistakes. It takes 2 to break a marriage up, so accept that which was your fault and correct it.

Put yourself in the best possible position for Life to be good to you. You're in the 2nd half of your journey of your Life, do better.

Avoid any physical place you will ever see him or his family, for now. Avoid it. Find new places to worship and hang out.

Forgive him and his family. Not because they're good, but for your own sake. Bitterness can kill your spirit, so release any sorrow via forgiveness. It will take time, but you must do so.

If you ever see any of them outside and they speak to you, calmly offer an apology any shortcomings you may have had and tell them you'll always be cordial. That entire apology should be one very short sentence, no begging, no grovelling, not a single word of reconciliation. And you are to make it to only one person, so thar they can go and share it amongst themselves.

You're forgiving them and apologising for your shortcomings because you need to be light and free so that God's blessings can come inside you. God's blessings can't come inside a dark, heavy heart.

Now, move on.

Your success story is ahead but you need to not look back, so you can claim it.

One last thing: go and get a tambourine. Keep it. Because as you heal, get better and grow into your new life and hopefully there's Love in your future (that's why you're doing that therapy, some negro out there has worked on his flaws and is praying for his Sarah), you'll shake that tambourine in praise to the Most High Lord.

All the best.

THANK YOU MA'AM

JONSYN7154:
where's your location?

Good morning. Please let's chat via my email address: [email protected]. The email address I used to on nairaland has become dormant, I can no longer access it.

MsJackson:

Good morning. Please let's chat via my email address: [email protected]. The email address I used to on nairaland has become dormant, I can no longer access it.

message sent.

RealityKings:


Divorce him first before he divorce you

he already did. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. This same year the separation occurred.

Onegai:


Mute his WhatsApp status on your daughter's phone. Never keep your eyes on whatever he's doing, how much he's spending, whom he's loving up.

The most important 2 things to do:

1. Speak with your lawyer. You need to be prepared.

2. Go for therapy and counselling. You need to improve yourself, work on your flaws and mistakes. It takes 2 to break a marriage up, so accept that which was your fault and correct it.

Put yourself in the best possible position for Life to be good to you. You're in the 2nd half of your journey of your Life, do better.

Avoid any physical place you will ever see him or his family, for now. Avoid it. Find new places to worship and hang out.

Forgive him and his family. Not because they're good, but for your own sake. Bitterness can kill your spirit, so release any sorrow via forgiveness. It will take time, but you must do so.

If you ever see any of them outside and they speak to you, calmly offer an apology any shortcomings you may have had and tell them you'll always be cordial. That entire apology should be one very short sentence, no begging, no grovelling, not a single word of reconciliation. And you are to make it to only one person, so thar they can go and share it amongst themselves.

You're forgiving them and apologising for your shortcomings because you need to be light and free so that God's blessings can come inside you. God's blessings can't come inside a dark, heavy heart.

Now, move on.

Your success story is ahead but you need to not look back, so you can claim it.

One last thing: go and get a tambourine. Keep it. Because as you heal, get better and grow into your new life and hopefully there's Love in your future (that's why you're doing that therapy, some negro out there has worked on his flaws and is praying for his Sarah), you'll shake that tambourine in praise to the Most High Lord.

All the best.

he already divorced me. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. It all happened behind my back, without my knowledge. This same year the separation occurred.

MsJackson:

he already divorced me. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. It all happened behind my back, without my knowledge. This same year the separation occurred.

Eh?

Eh?




JESUS BE PRAISED!

GIRLLLLL!!!!!

WHOM THE GODS WANT TO DESTROY, THEY FIRST RUN MAD.

You are NOT divorced.

However, your Not-An-Ex-Husband is in trouble. Like in, "How long do you want him to be arrested for and how much do you want him to settle at Police station" trouble.

The Law of Marriage Dissolution in Nigeria is clear and absolute.

1. Neither Party to the Marriage can file before a Separation of 2 years has been completed. No ifs, no buts, nothing.

2. The Petitioner must serve papers to the Respondent notifying them of the legal process.

No judge in Nigeria will sit and a decree of Dissolution on a marriage where the respondent had no idea. That's begging to be disbarred. My cousin's wife abandoned him years ago to the US and she still had to be notified via email of the process. You have to show up in court because Nigeria doesn't do No-Fault Divorce, both of you must accuse each other of something, anything.

3. No court sits that fast in Nigeria. And in Marriage Dissolution, there must be a Decree Nisi given and then 3 MONTHS after if there is no change, a Decree Absolute. Only when you get that Decree Absolute does it mean you are legally divorced.

Unless you did only Traditional Marriage o, but if you did Court Wedding those are the steps to end a marriage. Even Customary Court has their own steps and do it with Magistrate. And you didn't get married under Islamic law.

What that Id.iot did was what a lot of FOOLISH NIGERIAN MEN have been doing for a while now:

He paid a clerk at court to fake divorce documents and get a corrupt judge to fake-stamp it.

IT IS ILLEGAL.

YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED, YOU ARE VERY MUCH MARRIED.

Don't believe me, ask any Lawyer. Google it!

These foolish men are banking on the fact that Nigerians tend to be ignorant of how Nigerian laws work.


So, in my next post, amma tell you what to do.

Alright, here's what you're gonna do!

(If this was a movie, there'd be upbeat tempo music cued here )

Step 1: THAT FAKE DOCUMENT, SAVE IT AND SAY NOTHING TO THE I.DIOT. No reply, nothing. Don't tell the enemy your plan.

Step 2: get the best wig you can muster, get your nails done, get makeup did, get 3 perfect outfits, I don't want to see ankara, go and find out what May Edochie, Anita Okoye is wearing. Be inspired! You need to take 3 different pictures and it like it was different days, on your Facebook page. Your captions should be light and airy, you must look like you're living your best life. Post one with your little sweetheart, make sure her hair is done and she looks amazing.

Why? Because when this shi.t blows up, people will rush to your page to check you out. You have to come correct, so they can shout "Ah Ahnnn, see the lovely family this man threw away, he is useless!!"

Step 3: go to Twitter/X and post this story and that document there. Mention his govt name, Mention the fact that this started because your child got defiled. Tag the popular female s there. Ask for a lawyer.

All the so-called "Angry, Bitter" Feminists will get pissed and retweet it. And everyone will go and look for his FB page to drag him.

Step 4: get the most serious lawyer you can. Not charge and bail, which is why I said Twitter. Run a Twitter search with the word "Divorce in Nigeria", look up who posts on it and make sure you tag them all to your thread.

They see this kind of fake documents a lot and will tell you that it is a criminal offence. The clerks who do this tend to get in trouble and get reported.

The only reason it keeps happening is that Nigerians don't know the law and don't Google or speak to a lawyer, even the educated ones.


Make sure you keep this copy of a fake divorce. You will need it in court after the 2 years have ed and your filing (you're going to be the Petitioner) because you're going to go after his job for child and custody. He committed a crime, he can't get t custody, you're filing for sole custody. This will allow you make plans such as japa and anything serious without waiting for his input.

But yes, you will allow him visit his child. Why? Because you're a good person and you want your child to see for herself that her father is useless, don't tell her, let her see it for herself.

Oh and one last thing: Once a lawyer is involved and you may have gotten a document from the court stating that his fake marriage dissolution paper doesn't exist, attach both documents and email it, plus a short explanation and full govt name, to all the embassies of countries that Nigerians tend to japa to: UK, USA, , Canada etc. If you have a copy of his port dat page, add it as well.

Also, have someone monitor his page and that of the babe. In case they're daft enough to attempt to get married, you need evidence of Bigamy. Which yes, you should inform the church he attends of and yes, that is a criminal offence under the Penal Code of Nigeria. You can even get police to harass him on his fake wedding day in front of the guests (you should )

You're doing that for fun

Onegai:
Alright, here's what you're gonna do!

(If this was a movie, there'd be upbeat tempo music cued here )

Step 1: THAT FAKE DOCUMENT, SAVE IT AND SAY NOTHING TO THE I.DIOT. No reply, nothing. Don't tell the enemy your plan.

Step 2: get the best wig you can muster, get your nails done, get makeup did, get 3 perfect outfits, I don't want to see ankara, go and find out what May Edochie, Anita Okoye is wearing. Be inspired! You need to take 3 different pictures and it like it was different days, on your Facebook page. Your captions should be light and airy, you must look like you're living your best life. Post one with your little sweetheart, make sure her hair is done and she looks amazing.

Why? Because when this shi.t blows up, people will rush to your page to check you out. You have to come correct, so they can shout "Ah Ahnnn, see the lovely family this man threw away, he is useless!!"

Step 3: go to Twitter/X and post this story and that document there. Mention his govt name, Mention the fact that this started because your child got defiled. Tag the popular female s there. Ask for a lawyer.

All the so-called "Angry, Bitter" Feminists will get pissed and retweet it. And everyone will go and look for his FB page to drag him.

Step 4: get the most serious lawyer you can. Not charge and bail, which is why I said Twitter. Run a Twitter search with the word "Divorce in Nigeria", look up who posts on it and make sure you tag them all to your thread.

They see this kind of fake documents a lot and will tell you that it is a criminal offence. The clerks who do this tend to get in trouble and get reported.

The only reason it keeps happening is that Nigerians don't know the law and don't Google or speak to a lawyer, even the educated ones.


Make sure you keep this copy of a fake divorce. You will need it in court after the 2 years have ed and your filing (you're going to be the Petitioner) because you're going to go after his job for child and custody. He committed a crime, he can't get t custody, you're filing for sole custody. This will allow you make plans such as japa and anything serious without waiting for his input.

But yes, you will allow him visit his child. Why? Because you're a good person and you want your child to see for herself that her father is useless, don't tell her, let her see it for herself.

Oh and one last thing: Once a lawyer is involved and you may have gotten a document from the court stating that his fake marriage dissolution paper doesn't exist, attach both documents and email it, plus a short explanation and full govt name, to all the embassies of countries that Nigerians tend to japa to: UK, USA, , Canada etc. If you have a copy of his port dat page, add it as well.

Also, have someone monitor his page and that of the babe. In case they're daft enough to attempt to get married, you need evidence of Bigamy. Which yes, you should inform the church he attends of and yes, that is a criminal offence under the Penal Code of Nigeria. You can even get police to harass him on his fake wedding day in front of the guests (you should )

You're doing that for fun

100 likes! I hope she is strong enough to resist him because he will try to change her mind along the way when sh*t hits the fan.

Maeve7:


100 likes! I hope she is strong enough to resist him because he will try to change her mind along the way when sh*t hits the fan.

All of them do!

When their mid-life crisis fog starts to lift, the way they will suddenly back track. Because now their side chic has become a problem, the infatuation glow is fading from their eyes but ego won't let most of them form their mouths to beg their wives.

You'll hear lawyers talk about how the man starts to send more money than stipulated, to the wife. They suddenly want to become great fathers. That's when they'll a "bible believing church" and be using the Pastor to try and manipulate Madam into settling the matter amicably.

Any love that has you doing crazy shit that people try and tell you is wrong but you don't listen, is bad for you. And is not Love.

See Yul now pulling delay tactics in court (showed up without his lawyer, another time said he was sick). May is not going to save him from himself anymore and Judy will never let him go. Man is stuck.

MsJackson:
Hello house. He is finally divorcing me and remarrying another. Please read my story on my profile. I'm weak. I just want to know my rights. We have a child together. Lawyers in the house, please advise. Thank you.

Hi Ma'am.

I'm sorry for what you're going through.

You can message Teespice, she's a good Divorce lawyer.

Cheers.

MsJackson:

he already divorced me. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. It all happened behind my back, without my knowledge. This same year the separation occurred.

Papers ke?? This isn't Nollywood film oh.

As a Lawyer, that's a fake document there please. YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED.

Onegai:



Eh?

Eh?




JESUS BE PRAISED!

GIRLLLLL!!!!!

WHOM THE GODS WANT TO DESTROY, THEY FIRST RUN MAD.

You are NOT divorced.

However, your Not-An-Ex-Husband is in trouble. Like in, "How long do you want him to be arrested for and how much do you want him to settle at Police station" trouble.

The Law of Marriage Dissolution in Nigeria is clear and absolute.

1. Neither Party to the Marriage can file before a Separation of 2 years has been completed. No ifs, no buts, nothing.

2. The Petitioner must serve papers to the Respondent notifying them of the legal process.

No judge in Nigeria will sit and a decree of Dissolution on a marriage where the respondent had no idea. That's begging to be disbarred. My cousin's wife abandoned him years ago to the US and she still had to be notified via email of the process. You have to show up in court because Nigeria doesn't do No-Fault Divorce, both of you must accuse each other of something, anything.

3. No court sits that fast in Nigeria. And in Marriage Dissolution, there must be a Decree Nisi given and then 3 MONTHS after if there is no change, a Decree Absolute. Only when you get that Decree Absolute does it mean you are legally divorced.

Unless you did only Traditional Marriage o, but if you did Court Wedding those are the steps to end a marriage. Even Customary Court has their own steps and do it with Magistrate. And you didn't get married under Islamic law.

What that Id.iot did was what a lot of FOOLISH NIGERIAN MEN have been doing for a while now:

He paid a clerk at court to fake divorce documents and get a corrupt judge to fake-stamp it.

IT IS ILLEGAL.

YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED, YOU ARE VERY MUCH MARRIED.

Don't believe me, ask any Lawyer. Google it!

These foolish men are banking on the fact that Nigerians tend to be ignorant of how Nigerian laws work.


So, in my next post, amma tell you what to do.

Apt Ma'am.

Nigerians really don't know their rights.

Whoever forged those documents will face the wrath of the law, especially in a state like Lagos.

I've seen and handled a divorce matter before and truly, Women dey see things for Nigerian men hand.

folake4u:


Apt Ma'am.

Nigerians really don't know their rights.

Whoever forged those documents will face the wrath of the law, especially in a state like Lagos.

I've seen and handled a divorce matter before and truly, Women dey see things for Nigerian men hand.

A lot of Nigerian men are committing Bigamy, not even Polygamy because of this fake Divorce document.

I don't even get why they do it, I heard it's not a cheap document even. Just paying for a worthless piece of paper.

Even at the US embassy, you'll see them submit the fake document and those ones will go and the court number and won't find anything. Then your port gets flagged internally and good luck getting a visa afterwards, ever.

And the worst person that will suffer it will be the side chick. Because that man will wake up and blame her for EVERYTHING, even the choices he willingly made. Which man doesn't like playing the victim?? The shege meted out to the 1st wife will now look like child's play when it's her turn.

Then God help her if she does traditional marriage and the man dies. Automatically the only legally recognised wife is the 1st wife. That's it. All she can beg for is child via the court.

Bianca Ojukwu (who was even a legal wife) came home to meet padlocked gate once her husband was dead. And she spent 10 years fighting her step-children for properties on behalf of her kids. She's lucky she won eventually. The money she spent on litigation will be enough to pay Ikoyi rent comfortably.

Talk less of one random babe and an Oluwole Divorce document.

Good luck to anyone else wanting to follow that path. Your eyes will peel.

Onegai:


A lot of Nigerian men are committing Bigamy, not even Polygamy because of this fake Divorce document.

I don't even get why they do it, I heard it's not a cheap document even. Just paying for a worthless piece of paper.

Even at the US embassy, you'll see them submit the fake document and those ones will go and the court number and won't find anything. Then your port gets flagged internally and good luck getting a visa afterwards, ever.

And the worst person that will suffer it will be the side chick. Because that man will wake up and blame her for EVERYTHING, even the choices he willingly made. Which man doesn't like playing the victim?? The shege meted out to the 1st wife will now look like child's play when it's her turn.

Then God help her if she does traditional marriage and the man dies. Automatically the only legally recognised wife is the 1st wife. That's it. All she can beg for is child via the court.

Bianca Ojukwu (who was even a legal wife) came home to meet padlocked gate once her husband was dead. And she spent 10 years fighting her step-children for properties on behalf of her kids. She's lucky she won eventually. The money she spent on litigation will be enough to pay Ikoyi rent comfortably.

Talk less of one random babe and an Oluwole Divorce document.

Good luck to anyone else wanting to follow that path. Your eyes will peel.

The forged document isn't cheap!!!!

I was discussing this with my senior colleague in the profession last week. His client approached him to do a fake divorce document, he needed it urgently and wanted to travel to the US. He was shocked when the client later brought the document to him.

These people don't know that everything court process is done online. Especially in Lagos. Everything will be verified.

It is the same way people who take loans from loan sharks/companies and don't pay, they feel they outsmart the system by not paying their debts. The loan sharks need not talk too much because their BVN will be flagged down internally and later they don't know why their visa was denied.

Lool. I'm looking at this Paul of P-Square and laughing. He think say e wise.

Yeah, I Bianca Ojukwu's story. She fought a good fight indeed, it wasn't easy at all.

Goodluck to everyone involved.

MsJackson:

he already divorced me. I received the papers yesterday on WhatsApp. Dissolution of the marriage. Everything happened from March till June, signed and stamped by a judge of the high court. No papers were served me, no notice, NOTHING. just a document telling me it has been dissolved. It all happened behind my back, without my knowledge. This same year the separation occurred.

Were issues around the upkeep of your child sorted?

It is his responsibility to contribute significantly towards her upkeep even if he is not interested in being physically present.

Other than that, please move on with your life and find happiness in someone else or something else. Your best revenge is in being successful notwithstanding the divorce

Onegai:



Eh?

Eh?




JESUS BE PRAISED!

GIRLLLLL!!!!!

WHOM THE GODS WANT TO DESTROY, THEY FIRST RUN MAD.

You are NOT divorced.

However, your Not-An-Ex-Husband is in trouble. Like in, "How long do you want him to be arrested for and how much do you want him to settle at Police station" trouble.

The Law of Marriage Dissolution in Nigeria is clear and absolute.

1. Neither Party to the Marriage can file before a Separation of 2 years has been completed. No ifs, no buts, nothing.

2. The Petitioner must serve papers to the Respondent notifying them of the legal process.

No judge in Nigeria will sit and a decree of Dissolution on a marriage where the respondent had no idea. That's begging to be disbarred. My cousin's wife abandoned him years ago to the US and she still had to be notified via email of the process. You have to show up in court because Nigeria doesn't do No-Fault Divorce, both of you must accuse each other of something, anything.

3. No court sits that fast in Nigeria. And in Marriage Dissolution, there must be a Decree Nisi given and then 3 MONTHS after if there is no change, a Decree Absolute. Only when you get that Decree Absolute does it mean you are legally divorced.

Unless you did only Traditional Marriage o, but if you did Court Wedding those are the steps to end a marriage. Even Customary Court has their own steps and do it with Magistrate. And you didn't get married under Islamic law.

What that Id.iot did was what a lot of FOOLISH NIGERIAN MEN have been doing for a while now:

He paid a clerk at court to fake divorce documents and get a corrupt judge to fake-stamp it.

IT IS ILLEGAL.

YOU ARE NOT DIVORCED, YOU ARE VERY MUCH MARRIED.

Don't believe me, ask any Lawyer. Google it!

These foolish men are banking on the fact that Nigerians tend to be ignorant of how Nigerian laws work.


So, in my next post, amma tell you what to do.

Hmmm. I was thrown out on January 12th. He filed on March 11th and the decree absolute happened on June 10. All in the space of less than 6 months. And I did both court, church and traditional marriage.

Onegai:
Alright, here's what you're gonna do!

(If this was a movie, there'd be upbeat tempo music cued here )

Step 1: THAT FAKE DOCUMENT, SAVE IT AND SAY NOTHING TO THE I.DIOT. No reply, nothing. Don't tell the enemy your plan.

Step 2: get the best wig you can muster, get your nails done, get makeup did, get 3 perfect outfits, I don't want to see ankara, go and find out what May Edochie, Anita Okoye is wearing. Be inspired! You need to take 3 different pictures and it like it was different days, on your Facebook page. Your captions should be light and airy, you must look like you're living your best life. Post one with your little sweetheart, make sure her hair is done and she looks amazing.

Why? Because when this shi.t blows up, people will rush to your page to check you out. You have to come correct, so they can shout "Ah Ahnnn, see the lovely family this man threw away, he is useless!!"

Step 3: go to Twitter/X and post this story and that document there. Mention his govt name, Mention the fact that this started because your child got defiled. Tag the popular female s there. Ask for a lawyer.

All the so-called "Angry, Bitter" Feminists will get pissed and retweet it. And everyone will go and look for his FB page to drag him.

Step 4: get the most serious lawyer you can. Not charge and bail, which is why I said Twitter. Run a Twitter search with the word "Divorce in Nigeria", look up who posts on it and make sure you tag them all to your thread.

They see this kind of fake documents a lot and will tell you that it is a criminal offence. The clerks who do this tend to get in trouble and get reported.

The only reason it keeps happening is that Nigerians don't know the law and don't Google or speak to a lawyer, even the educated ones.


Make sure you keep this copy of a fake divorce. You will need it in court after the 2 years have ed and your filing (you're going to be the Petitioner) because you're going to go after his job for child and custody. He committed a crime, he can't get t custody, you're filing for sole custody. This will allow you make plans such as japa and anything serious without waiting for his input.

But yes, you will allow him visit his child. Why? Because you're a good person and you want your child to see for herself that her father is useless, don't tell her, let her see it for herself.

Oh and one last thing: Once a lawyer is involved and you may have gotten a document from the court stating that his fake marriage dissolution paper doesn't exist, attach both documents and email it, plus a short explanation and full govt name, to all the embassies of countries that Nigerians tend to japa to: UK, USA, , Canada etc. If you have a copy of his port dat page, add it as well.

Also, have someone monitor his page and that of the babe. In case they're daft enough to attempt to get married, you need evidence of Bigamy. Which yes, you should inform the church he attends of and yes, that is a criminal offence under the Penal Code of Nigeria. You can even get police to harass him on his fake wedding day in front of the guests (you should )

You're doing that for fun

I'm actually taking time going through this. I must it, it's a lot 😁