NewStats: 3,263,699 , 8,181,077 topics. Date: Saturday, 07 June 2025 at 11:52 AM 573z72

Danisaint112:
➜Being treated equal is different from love. Don't mix it up. Only an irresponsible parent promote partiality.
➜ A parent can love all their children but there would always be one they would always love and cherish more and this is usually tied to their character.
➜ It’s either the child has a bad character and the parents evil, or the child upholds good character and the parents hate evil. This is a fact that has been known for ages.
➜ Maybe you are used to insulting your parents or talking back at them reason you found my harmless comment offensive.

1. In what ways?

2. So, the parent is said not to love and cherish all the children equally, abi? or what else are you saying here.

3. Ah, I see! So, children with bad characters should be loved and cherished less than children whose characters you, the parent, perceive as good and fitting?

4. Children who are disrespectful to parents should be loved and cherished less, right?

And one would wonder why I insisted that only biological parents who are at least self-aware can truly love their children and do so equally.🙄🙄

Yes. I live all my children equally.

obembet:


So politics start from home

So you are just knowing this??

Families are the backbone and reflection of every nations on earth.

A good example is Nigeria, The reason why the country is the way it is is because of Families Behavior. Hatred and Favouritism is very rampant among Nigerian Families.

Everything starts from home.

Kobojunkie:
It is possible, however, that behavior — the urge to favor a particular biological child more than the others—seems to be mostly unconscious, leading me to believe that only self-aware biological parent units would have the ability to accomplish that. Most biological parents aren't.

I am one of those self aware parents. My kids know I am even handed when it comes to how I interact with them. And I am not just saying it, it reflects in how they treat me in return.

LordReed:
➜I am one of those self aware parents. My kids know I am even handed when it comes to how I interact with them. And I am not just saying it, it reflects in how they treat me in return.

That last statement of yours makes me question the first. The way children treat their parents has little to nothing to do with how the parents treat them. So, the way your children treat you can't really be used as an indicator of your love for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujhn1JdOSB4?si=DszFVFpBb2c--Pgg
We see this a lot in homes across Nigeria, where you are bound to find some of the worst parents on earth have some of the most respectful and dutiful children.

Kobojunkie:
That last statement of yours makes me question the first. The way children treat their parents has little to nothing to do with how the parents treat them. So, the way your children treat you can't really be used as an indicator of your love for them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujhn1JdOSB4?si=DszFVFpBb2c--Pgg
We see this a lot in homes across Nigeria, where you are bound to find some of the worst parents on earth have some of the most respectful and dutiful children.

Says who? It is quite a big indicator. Do you think mistreated children behave the same way well treated children do to their parents?

I am not talking about respect and duty. I am talking about fairness and equity. Maybe you've not seen it before but that is the effect it brought out in mine.

LordReed:
➜Says who? It is quite a big indicator.
➜ Do you think mistreated children behave the same way well treated children do to their parents?
➜ I am not talking about respect and duty. I am talking about fairness and equity. Maybe you've not seen it before but that is the effect it brought out in mine.

1. Not from what I have seen.

➜ Children don't all behave the same way towards their parents. There are abused children who would obediently and respectfully approach their abs, some going as far as to cling to them, and then there are those who would distance themselves from their parents. So, using their behavior alone does not work.

3. But this discussion is in regards to fairness and equity are meant to be from the parents towards the children, regardless of the children's behavior, though.

Kobojunkie:
1. Not from what I have seen.

➜ Children don't all behave the same way towards their parents. There are abused children who would obediently and respectfully approach their abs, some going as far as to cling to them, and then there are those who would distance themselves from their parents. So, using their behavior alone does not work.

3. But this discussion is in regards to fairness and equity are meant to be from the parents towards the children, regardless of the children's behavior, though.

You've seen abused children behave with fairness and equity to their abs?

And I tell you the effect my fairness and equity has on my children. May be you are not familiar with how well treated children behave that is why you think everything is a sign of abuse.

No. . Its impossible
I accepted my fate as the least loved.

LordReed:
➜You've seen abused children behave with fairness and equity to their abs?
➜ And I tell you the effect my fairness and equity has on my children. May be you are not familiar with how well treated children behave that is why you think everything is a sign of abuse.

Children are under NO OBLIGATION to deal in fairness or equity towards their parents or abs. That you treat your children fairly and equally DOES NOT GUARANTEE that they will reciprocate the treatment, and that is OK.

2. I am quite familiar with how well-treated children behave towards their parent-figures, and I know for a fact that there is no template to this behavior as you are so intent on having us believe.

Kobojunkie:
Children are under NO OBLIGATION to deal in fairness or equity towards their parents or abs. That you treat your children fairly and equally DOES NOT GUARANTEE that they will reciprocate the treatment, and that is OK.

2. I am quite familiar with how well-treated children behave towards their parent-figures, and I know for a fact that there is no template to this behavior as you are so intent on having us believe.

LoLz. "...intent on having us believe." You must be mistaking me for someone who gives a shit about what you believe. You are free to believe anything you like. I am here sharing my experience but you don't get to tell me my experience is invalid.

I never told you my experience is a template so I dunno what you going on about.

LordReed:
➜LoLz. "...intent on having us believe." You must be mistaking me for someone who gives a shit about what you believe. You are free to believe anything you like. I am here sharing my experience but you don't get to tell me my experience is invalid. I never told you my experience is a template so I dunno what you going on about.

I keep explaining to you that the behavior of the children towards their parents DOES NOT serve as an indicator as far as how the kids are treated by them. And hence should be considered any such. You know this from the fact that there are parents out there whose only biological child treats them like crap no matter how much love they throw the child's way. Yeah, treating someone, especially your child—or your children, for that matter—fairly and equally does not translate to getting the same treatment back.

Kobojunkie:
I keep explaining to you that the behavior of the children towards their parents DOES NOT serve as an indicator as far as how the kids are treated by them. You know this from the fact that there are parents out there whose only biological child treats them like crap no matter how much love they throw the child's way. Yeah, treating someone, especially your child—or your children, for that matter—fairly and equally does not translate to getting the same treatment back.

Tell me since you are now in my house to know how I treat my children. What explains why they treat me with fairness and equity the same way I treat them.

Kobojunkie:
I keep explaining to you that the behavior of the children towards their parents DOES NOT serve as an indicator as far as how the kids are treated by them. You know this from the fact that there are parents out there whose only biological child treats them like crap no matter how much love they throw the child's way. Yeah, treating someone, especially your child—or your children, for that matter—fairly and equally does not translate to getting the same treatment back.

Tell me since you are now in my house to know how I treat my children. What explains why they treat me with fairness and equity the same way I treat them.

Kindly show where I said you must get the same treatment back.

Bahamas95:
My mum loves all of us but deep down in me I know I have a very special place in her heart.

My siblings have accepted the fact that I am the first son and it's natural to share close bond with mummy. Though I ain't the eldest in the family because I have an elder sister but according to our tradition I am automatically the eldest child in the family.

My mum doesn't do anything without consulting me first. Even my girlfriend, now my wife noticed the love when they got to know each other.


Just few days ago I was iring my daughter (first and only child presently) and I jokingly asked my wife if she thinks I would be fond of our future children like her......She laughed and said why won't I be fond of them.

She's my first fruit and I love her so much, it's not as if I won't love my future children.....I was just thinking the fire might come down a bit on others.

at the bolded, same script once played in my home...when the second one now came i just found out that i love them both equally... without lowering any fire.


Personally, i love them both super equally

LordReed:
➜Tell me since you are now in my house to know how I treat my children. What explains why they treat me with fairness and equity the same way I treat them.

You keep going on and on about the children's supposed behavior towards you, even after I have explained several times now that it doesn't and shouldn't matter how the kids treat their parents. 🙄🙄

Kobojunkie:
You keep going on and on about the children's supposed behavior towards you, even after I have explained several times now that it doesn't and shouldn't matter how the kids treat their parents. 🙄🙄

Really? It shouldn't matter if the children are well behaved? LoLz. Na wa o. Nothing Musa no go see for gate.

LordReed:
➜Really? It shouldn't matter if the children are well behaved? LoLz. Na wa o. Nothing Musa no go see for gate.

I have been trying to explain from about 4 comments ago that even abusive parents could have well-behaved kids, but you keep conveniently ignoring this fact. 🙄🙄🙄

This is why I don't pay attention much to what most parents say about their kids, because in the end, many are too blind to even reason the true reality of things.

Sometimes I ask myself if I have any favorite child among my children but the answer is always no, I also ask if it's possible to love them equally.

Love is not really deep in my heart I don't even know how to pamper people. I don't fall in love, I just love them as my children. What I can't do for A, I can't do it for B either. Maybe someday one of them will start doing what will make him or her my favourite I can't tell but for now no favouritism.

It's just in my nature, I also don't fall in love, I don't take thing serious, I don't

Kobojunkie:
I have been trying to explain from about 4 comments ago that even abusive parents could have well-behaved kids, but you keep conveniently ignoring this fact. 🙄🙄🙄

This is why I don't pay attention much to what most parents say about their kids, because in the end, many are too blind to even reason the true reality of things.

And I dunno why you keep telling me about abusive parents I'm telling you about my own experience, modelling fairness and equity for my kids and seeing them reciprocate but you keep talking about abusive parents. If anyone is blind it might be you by a pervasive pessimism that doesn't let you see beyond your nose.

LordReed:


And I dunno why you keep telling me about abusive parents I'm telling you about my own experience, modelling fairness and equity for my kids and seeing them reciprocate but you keep talking about abusive parents. If anyone is blind it might be you by a pervasive pessimism that doesn't let you see beyond your nose.

That poster has written here before that he/she does not owe his/her parents anything, so one must be suspicious about the sort of relationship he/she has with his/her parents.

DeepSight:


That poster has written here before that he/she does not owe his/her parents anything, so one must be suspicious about the sort of relationship he/she has with his/her parents.

That explains quite a bit. Like I said there is an air of pervasive pessimism from their posts and this just might explain why. It's sad.

obembet:
My Dearest Nairalanders,. here we go today!

I strongly believe All children in a family should be treated equally, to prevent psychological problems. But sometimes, parents do have a special favourite.

Although, it is possible for parents to have a stronger emotional bond with one child over another, though this can vary based on numerous factors. The funniest part is that
Most parents are not aware that they may have a favorite child and generally feel that they love all their children the same.

Is there anyway to love all the kids in a family equality?

Not possible to love all your children equally due to many factors:
1. Personality differences: Unique personalities and temperaments can create varying bonds.
2. Behavior and character: A child's behavior and character can influence parental affection.
3. Appearance: Physical resemblance to loved ones or personal preferences might affect parental bonding.
4. Intelligence: A child's intellectual abilities or achievements might draw more parental attention.
5. Law of attraction (gender affinity): Parents might naturally bond more with children of the opposite sex. Opposite sex attraction each other, the father will like the daughters more than sons while the mother will like the sons more than the daughters
6. Mood or situation at birth: Circumstances surrounding a child's birth can impact parental feelings.
7. Individual needs and circumstances: Different needs, health issues, or challenges might require more attention.
8. Growth and development: Children might receive more attention during specific growth phases or milestones.
9. Shared experiences and interests: Parents might bond more with children who share similar ions or experiences.
10. Parental biases and expectations: Unconscious biases or expectations can influence parental relationships.

obembet:
My Dearest Nairalanders,. here we go today!

I strongly believe All children in a family should be treated equally, to prevent psychological problems. But sometimes, parents do have a special favourite.

Although, it is possible for parents to have a stronger emotional bond with one child over another, though this can vary based on numerous factors. The funniest part is that
Most parents are not aware that they may have a favorite child and generally feel that they love all their children the same.

Is there anyway to love all the kids in a family equality?

obembet:


Dear brother, are u married? Have u been blessed with kids?

Yes please for 23 years now with four children although i lost one but by the grace of God i have four. Three girls and one boy.

:
➜Not possible to love all your children equally due to many factors:
1. Personality differences: Unique personalities and temperaments can create varying bonds.
2. Behavior and character: A child's behavior and character can influence parental affection.
3. Appearance: Physical resemblance to loved ones or personal preferences might affect parental bonding.
4. Intelligence: A child's intellectual abilities or achievements might draw more parental attention.
5. Law of attraction (gender affinity): Parents might naturally bond more with children of the opposite sex. Opposite sex attraction each other, the father will like the daughters more than sons while the mother will like the sons more than the daughters
6. Mood or situation at birth: Circumstances surrounding a child's birth can impact parental feelings.
7. Individual needs and circumstances: Different needs, health issues, or challenges might require more attention.
8. Growth and development: Children might receive more attention during specific growth phases or milestones.
9. Shared experiences and interests: Parents might bond more with children who share similar ions or experiences.
10. Parental biases and expectations: Unconscious biases or expectations can influence parental relationships.

I have seen foster/non-biological parents love their wards equally despite all of the above. I have seen situations where children are afforded the same level of care and love by people not biologically related to them. I have seen cases where a troublesome child is loved to death by both adopted parents and adopted siblings, despite all of the headaches he keeps inflicting on the family and the rest of his siblings.

I say all of that to insist that there are those out there able to look past all you have pointed out to love unrelated children equally and fairly. However, it seems that when the wards are biological, something else seems to get in the way much of the time. At least that is my observation so far.

Samantha125:
Of course they do... Over the years, I think I've fallen under the category of my mom's least favourite child because unlike the rest of my siblings who are more laid back and reserved, I've always been the outspoken and feisty one, I call a spade a spade regardless of who you are, I don't beat around the bush... And since I'm now an independent adult, her manipulations no longer work on me as I've grown accustomed to them... ... In fact, I'm now the one manipulating her because I've learnt from the best...

That alone has pushed me to be more closer to my father and the man has been my biggest fan since day one... I'm who I am today because of him.

Kobojunkie:
. Favoritism is beyond just that. Imagine a situation where a parent shops for expensive clothing and toys for one particular child— without fail—while the others either get regular brands or hand-me-downs. I have seen parents who would do anything that one kid says, but rack up excuses for why the other kid should not expect the same treatment, and the excuses are usually atrocious.

That's harsh and extreme.

Lexusgs430:
I love all my children equally...... Why would I love them selectively? 🤔

Say you love them differently.

Love can never be equal.
You love your parents and wife deeply but differently not equally.

Authoreety:


at the bolded, same script once played in my home...when the second one now came i just found out that i love them both equally... without lowering any fire.


Personally, i love them both super equally

You love deeply and differently but never equally.

As long as they are not the same and has diff temperaments, you will love them differently.

A mum will love her son who is a cultist though she detests cultist differently the way she will love her other son who is a pastor assuming she is very religious. Also the love you have for your son and daughter is never the same and equal.

obembet:
My Dearest Nairalanders,. here we go today!

I strongly believe All children in a family should be treated equally, to prevent psychological problems. But sometimes, parents do have a special favourite.

Although, it is possible for parents to have a stronger emotional bond with one child over another, though this can vary based on numerous factors. The funniest part is that
Most parents are not aware that they may have a favorite child and generally feel that they love all their children the same.

Is there anyway to love all the kids in a family equality?

Not possible though you can't tell them.

They do show it naturally