NewStats: 3,264,338 , 8,183,394 topics. Date: Tuesday, 10 June 2025 at 04:35 PM 105i5i

sweetcocoa:
Again, you prove how messed up your mind, is, by assuming a son can be used as replacement for a husband, because a woman hugged her son.

My mind is not messed up, the woman in question clung to her son like one should cling to a husband. Is it that you are not aware of some women substituting their husbands for sons? Why will a MIL who has her own husband to take care of move into her sons house leaving husband alone. Suit yourself.

gabicon:
I think the reason for mother in-law n wife debacle is that men could be such babies and they sometimes make foolish decisions, a mother is always there to curtail these excesses but she doesn't trust that a young wife will do same. A mother is the centre of her son's world and she is afraid of being thrown out but they loose the insight that the world is big enough for two. Life has taught me that the more you let go the more control you can have.

The truth is it all boils down to CONTROL. Women like to control & influence men. It has been dt way since d garden of Eden wt Adam & eve.

It's not a bad thing cos it inbuilt in every woman by GOd. They were created to be a helpmeet to the man. So women naturally want to give their opinion & are extremely joyful when they know they can exert their influence over d guy. To the woman, this shows d man loves her & values her. It gives her a sense of fulfillment.

The issue is dt this is meant to work in a husband-wife dynamic, as God intended. Not in a mother-son dynamic. The bible says "the man LEAVES his family & cleaves to his wife". The mother in law dt understands this very well usually gets along wt their daughter in law. But some women think their son is their husband & get upset when they reAlize they're losing influence wt their son. Some even go out of their way to PROVE to d wife dt theyre still d influencer in the sons life. They either do this boldly abusing d wife or just start playing manipulative mind games on their son in order to undermine the wife.

Benita27:
They don't take it to the extreme like is done here, and like i said earlier "they are more liberal".

Have you had one before?

What you can say is that people are generally more independent and family units are not quite as close-knit. If a guy finished uni at age 21 and moves away to work 500km metres away and marries at the age of 35, he would have been independent from age 18 if he was on campus or from 21 if at home during uni. So parents might generally be less influential. But the idea of being more liberal becomes a fallacy when you have actually being in it. I just gave you an example.

I once dated another girl who was very nice. We went on holidays together and all that. Her mum knew my name and knew her daughter holidayed with me sometimes. But her daughter never told her I was a black man. Her daughter said no point telling as she hated the idea of any black person coming into her family.

Me too nor care. I had no plans to marry her. Later on when she sometimes talked about marriage, I had my ready excuse : her mum.
Marriage is hard enough when both families are in let alone one side is against it ab initio.

Sure many blacks marry white ladies but all is not as sweet as it looks. I have been to several weddings between black friends and white ladies where the white family flatly boycotted the wedding.

Who nor go nor know.

Pidggin:


My mind is not messed up, the woman in question clung to her son like one should cling to a husband. Is it that you are not aware of some women substituting their husbands for sons? Why will a MIL who has her own husband to take care of move into her sons house leaving husband alone. Suit yourself.

And this automatically means every MIL is like that? As for the woman/boy you are even using as instance, he is only but 15, not married yet, so how does your 'moving into house' theory apply there? So a mother can't hug her son again?

Go have your mind fixed jor.

Pidggin:


Lol, yes of course.

Does the yes of course mea you're the one in the pic?

U dont hav to fear if u hav nothing to hide,only a woman know another woman

sweetcocoa:
My sister, I don't know your definition of "good wife" but if it involves being nice to please only your husband, neglecting his folks, then that's not a good wife o, unless your MIL kicked against your marriage for a particular reason, then she can't just maltreat you for no reason.

she can,some people are just sadist..happened to my cousin till her husband died

SC31:
she can,some people are just sadist..happened to my cousin till her husband died

if she's a sadist with everyone then she's a bad person, therefore would make a bad MIL, I already acknowledged that but if she was mean to only your cousin, then ask your cousin why her mil hates her, if your cousin is good and smart like I think you paint her, then she must know why the woman doesn't like her, could be anything, there's always something.

Benita27:
I noticed 80% of our Nigerian mother in-laws threat their daughter in-laws badly unlike their foreign counterparts, and this trend is so common,once a man says he wants to take you to see his parents instead of excitement a certain fear creeps in.
personally i'm not scared of meeting the man's father because i assume father's trust their sons to have made the right choices, but for the mothers is not usually the same, was able to ask someone if she felt same and she confessed feeling worse.
Why are our Nigerian mother in-laws so mean?.
Need your contributions, and Ladies how do you feel when getting to meet them?.

Cc: Aderola15.
Talk2Bella.
IamNawty.
Laveda.

MOTHERS-in-law.
DAUGHTERS-in-law.

Gidi3020:
;DThe guy mama would be feeling jealous because, the new girl would now make mama to realise that her breast don turn slippers, without considering the fact that the guy s*cked mamas own years before.

All these comments make me sick. Like there's some kind of incestous connection between a woman and her son.

Eww

Don't get ot twisted.... Mother inlaws are universally meany mean creatures. It's a vicious cycle of meaness

sweetcocoa:
Comments like this leave me confused.

Why would a mother think someone else stole her baby's heart? Is she sleeping with him?

I'm honestly confused too.

Like the women have sexual relationships with their sons instead of a maternal one.

It's only emotionally imbalanced women that will have these problems. Because it's a clear case of not understanding that the role of his wife and that of yours as mother are different.

You will have problems with all the women he comes in with because they have come to steal your baby's.

Instead of enjoying your older adulthood with your husband on one remote island reminiscing your youth.

Menzy86:
Wit d quality of DIL's these days contaminated by a warped sense of gender equality, why won't MIL's b in constant battle wit them? E.g MOST 9ja babes these days think it is 'modern' or 'acceptable' not to know how to cook. Or to rule out d possibility of preparing a particular dish even if its ur husband's favourite and expect it to be ok by everyone.

Think well, you don't know any of your uncle's wife that doesn't know how to cook?
This issue is way past being modern or not knowing how to cook.

cococandy:


All these comments make me sick. Like there's some kind of incestous connection between a woman and her son.

Eww

Take some chill pills, smells like your mother in-law is drastically dealing with your emotions, correct what you've done wrong before it gets rotten.

Gidi3020:


Take some chill pills, smells like your mother in-law is drastically dealing with your emotions, correct what you've done wrong before it gets rotten.

See one of them

sweetcocoa:
Why can't he do dishes, is he not a human being who eats with dishes? Even if he doesn't use dishes sef, can't he be of help in the house?

As u help in paying rent.

sweetcocoa:
Why are you just looking at her? Isn't it possible what she wants your wife to do, will be healthy for your marriage? Don't people share tips anymore?

Why won't I look at her ke?... You want me to talk back?.... You need to hear all she's saying... Mehn, no woman wuld marry me if mom lists half of it for her....... Her own don tips

elfmann:

As u help in paying rent.

So what if I don't pay rent? I need to pay you to help?

cococandy:

I'm honestly confused too.

Like the women have sexual relationships with their sons instead of a maternal one.

It's only emotionally imbalanced women that will have these problems. Because it's a clear case of not understanding that the role of his wife and that of yours as mother are different.

You will have problems with all the women he comes in with because they have come to steal your baby's.

Instead of enjoying your older adulthood with your husband on one remote island reminiscing your youth.

You will still do the same, that's why it isn't going away.... Women hate women!

NevetsIbot:
Why won't I look at her ke?... You want me to talk back?.... You need to hear all she's saying... Mehn, no woman wuld marry me if mom lists half of it for her....... Her own don tips

Perhaps you don't mind telling us some of those things, so we'll judge for ourselves that your mum is brewing trouble, please?

sweetcocoa:
So what if I don't pay rent? I need to pay you to help?

That means..do ur role...u can not talk more or demand more when u are always receiving.
Folo foreign wives the whole distance...not u want a modern man but can't pitch in in anything.

sweetcocoa:
Perhaps you don't mind telling us some of those things, so we'll judge for ourselves that your mum is brewing trouble, please?

nah.. Can't tell ya... It isn't wise.. I feel my wife is on this forum.. She could be watching

cococandy:

I'm honestly confused too.

Like the women have sexual relationships with their sons instead of a maternal one.

It's only emotionally imbalanced women that will have these problems. Because it's a clear case of not understanding that the role of his wife and that of yours as mother are different.

You will have problems with all the women he comes in with because they have come to steal your baby's.

Instead of enjoying your older adulthood with your husband on one remote island reminiscing your youth.

True, but the mistake many young women make, is that they carry this mindset into marriage, forgetting that not all mils are like that, if one wears a red glass, they tend to see things in shades of red(I know someone that always says this) and it's true, people can see things that are not there, so it's best to make sure to check all angles while looking.

NevetsIbot:
nah.. Can't tell ya... It isn't wise.. I feel my wife is on this forum.. She could be watching

Then I guess you can understand why it's fair, if I can't take your word for it, yea? Plus don't you think just by our exchange, you are already in trouble if your wife is on this forum?

Haha, very funny.

cococandy:


See one of them

Wanted to continue and finish you up, but I just checked and you've got a pretty baby girl.....anyways enjoy yourself and never you Forget to extend my greetings to that beautiful baby. As for you ama barb you kodo when you show up in Nigeria.

elfmann:

That means..do ur role...u can not talk more or demand more when u are always receiving.
Folo foreign wives the whole distance...not u want a modern man but can't pitch in in anything.

I don't even know what you are talking about, you live in a society where women contribute nothing? Please where's that?

elfmann:

You will still do the same, that's why it isn't going away.... Women hate women!

I'm sure I won't.

sweetcocoa:
I beg to differ.

It is more about being emotionally healthy than visiting one another, than what you term individualistic society, the US is a very individualistic society, yet this issue plays there and so is New Zealand, Australia and a bunch of other countries but MILs and DILs disagree there.

Yea
you have made good points, but I still stand on my opinion.
You cannot tell me with all authority that this problem is as rampant in these countries than in SSA and SEA, the cultural issue makes the DIL be at a disadvantage position in these regions

Okay look at it from this angle...

A MIL is more likely to instigate the family to push out the DIL to the streets in Africa, as opposed to Europe/America.
I have seen this with my eyes

A MIL is more likely to be a live in person in Africa than in the other clime

A MIL is more likely to suggest, and Even bring a second wife to the matrimonial home than in the other clime.

To cut the long story short, the MIL has more advantage here than in other climes.
She could be more brazen in her attempt to frustrate the DIL here than elsewhere


I hope you see my point?

80% of ladies presently, are not submissive. I believe that's what has been causing problems. They've forgotten that when a lady got married, she starts a new family. Her husband family is her new family. She will start learning new things nd dropping some things from her home. Every mother loves their son. Ladies should know too that they will soon become mother-in-law. Then what I'm saying will make some sense.

sweetcocoa:
Then I guess you can understand why it's fair, if I can't take your word for it, yea? Plus don't you think just by our exchange, you are already in trouble if your wife is on this forum?

Haha, very funny.

lol.. I know wha I said so, you believing me is the least of my priorities now.


She possibly can't know em so... I'm like a cat with 7 lives remaining.

AreaFada2:


Have you had one before?

What you can say is that people are generally more independent and family units are not quite as close-knit. If a guy finished uni at age 21 and moves away to work 500km metres away and marries at the age of 35, he would have been independent from age 18 if he was on campus or from 21 if at home during uni. So parents might generally be less influential. But the idea of being more liberal becomes a fallacy when you have actually being in it. I just gave you an example.

I once dated another girl who was very nice. We went on holidays together and all that. Her mum knew my name and knew her daughter holidayed with me sometimes. But her daughter never told her I was a black man. Her daughter said no point telling as she hated the idea of any black person coming into her family.

Me too nor care. I had no plans to marry her. Later on when she sometimes talked about marriage, I had my ready excuse : her mum.
Marriage is hard enough when both families are in let alone one side is against it ab initio.

Sure many blacks marry white ladies but all is not as sweet as it looks. I have been to several weddings between black friends and white ladies where the white family flatly boycotted the wedding.

Who nor go nor know.

Yea, that's true....
But not all white people are closet racist tho.
Just pray not to marry one.
There are good ones and bad ones

Pidggin:


Lol she has a husband but see how she is leaning on her son as if he is her life , when the boy gets married she will now be in competition with her daughter - in-law, then the guy wouldn't be able to chose. Most MILs have bad marriages, no love from a man, or maybe she's a widow or single mother who didn't remarry.

Women who lack intimacy in their lives end up being bad mother - in-laws who can never be pleased

Huh?